He’s not saying “Boo-urns”

So I didn’t know that a publisher in Serbia actually put out Jones’ book about Mohammed’s nine-year old bride, unlike the cowards at Random House, but don’t worry- they already took it off the shelves and offered an apology. They actually apologized for publishing a book. That is infuriating. I don’t doubt that radical Islam wields a lot of power in Serbia, in fact I know they do, but were you that scared? Was it that dangerous? Hell, maybe The Jewel of Medina sucks, but isn’t the principle worth the risk? An apology for publishing a book. And you idiots here whine about how teenagers text too much.

Ed links to a fake anecdote about a homeless woman.

The Onion asks if Katrina novels are the new 9/11 novels. They aren’t.

You got the Boo-urns thing, right?

Via Bookdwarf, photos from the adaptation of The Road. Meh.

I know this book will suck but seriously, as Powell’s points out, the trailer for The Book of Lies makes me actually want to read the sucky book.

Didn’t I already write something about how there are too many damn semicolon articles that have come out lately? I swear I did. If not, I meant to, and Gawker agrees while highlighting all the needless articles as of late. As someone in the comment section states, this is like how every few years there’s a gaggle of articles about getting rid of the penny.

How did The Good Soldier get its name? According to this it was to piss off Ford Madox Ford.

And finally, Enter the Octopus links to someone who has noticed an odd way Michael Chabon writes dialogue. Apparently, he throws conversations on the end with a heaping helping of description and exposition in between. This may come off as confusing, but I assume is very successful. I don’t have Kavalier & Clay in reach, but I loved that book. Now I’ll have to check back and see if that’s one of his effective tricks. Also, the guy who noticed this said he picked up The Yiddish Policemen’s Union without knowing anything about it. Maybe this is only because I’m a super book blog star, but who doesn’t know what that book’s about?

A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway

Here’s something you might want to participate in or at least listen to:

Tomorrow on The Diane Rehm Show

11:00 Readers Review: “A Farewell to Arms” by Ernest Hemingway

Listeners are invited to join a panel discussion of what some critics have called the best novel to emerge from World War I.

Join the show: 1-800-433-8850 (drshow@wamu.org) or contact us 

Guests

Alex Vernon, Associate Professor of English at Hendrix College and the author of “Soldiers Once and Still,” “The Eyes of Orion,” “most succinctly bred,” and the forthcoming “On Tarzan” to be published by The University of Georgia Press.

James Meredith, President of The Ernest Hemingway Foundation and Society; Retired U.S. Air Force Lieutenant Colonel and Professor of English at the Air Force Academy; author of “Understanding the Literature of World War I,” “Understanding the Literature of World War II;” and editor of a collection of essays titled “War in Hemingway’s Time,” which will be published by Kent State University Press in 2009.

Kayla Williams, author of “Love My Rifle More Than You” and former Sargent in a military intelligence company of the 101st Airborne Division(Air Assault).

 Note:  If you miss the broadcast, it will be archived about an hour or so after broadcast

Thought it was gonna be Romney

Possibly in an attempt to continue trash talking Russia, McCain has now hat-tipped one of its dissidents. The presidential hopeful has claimed a Solzhenitsyn story as his own faith-boosting anecdote. It involves a cross, dirt, and harsh imprisonment. So did maybe McCain also coincidentally have the same experience? No, no he didn’t, but at least he’ll shine a little more light on the guy who just died that he blatantly stole from.

Here is too many NY Times articles- One about how people really like Updike but are unhappy with Cher, another article about how getting or doling out blurbs is easily the hardest thing any writer, or human, will ever have to do, and two Kafka things, one about porn and one not about porn.

The Millions discusses maybe the greatest mystery cliche that isn’t The butler did it- The Closed Room mystery. You can also follow the clues to Agatha Christie being all racist.

A bunch of people are all up in arms over some fresh Young Adult attacks. Good for them. But as for Ed, or anyone who looks like Ed, reading teen fiction on the subway is, uh… that’s weird.

Via Bookslut, W.B. Yeats and the art of being lonely.

In that blurb story I linked earlier it says that some authors refuse to have their blurb next to the blurb of an author they don’t like. Authors are goddamn babies.

I wonder if Murakami’s new book about running can be so boring it actually ends up back at good.

And finally, Enter the Octopus has posted the 48 top sci-fi book adaptations, also known as every movie ever made from a sci-fi book. Don’t believe me? Freejack is on there. Hell, Battlefield: Earth is on there. Maybe a handful of adaptations aren’t listed for some insane reason, but if the Mario Van Peebles’ film Solo makes it, everything makes it.

There’s an ironic cat joke here somewhere

So this old hippie pants wrote a book that pretty such sounds exactly like a high-minded version of Ratatouille and at least on the cover above, the rat looks more like everyone’s favorite Melmacian (I actually looked that up; it’s the correct terminology). Or maybe an anteater. The book is actually a huge hit, and I have to admit the story of a rodent that’s far more well read than I am has piqued my interest, but the dude who drew that has obviously never seen a rat in his life. Eh, whatever. Here’s a Bat Segundo interview with the hippie.

Mark Piggott wants writers to stop using agents and just getting their own work out there. What Ed points out, and what I assume most would agree with, is that writers are idiots. Of course they are. If they weren’t they’d be agents.

Chuck Palahniuk was all “Radiohead are my best friends and did the score for an adaptation of one of my books because I’m awesome”, and then Radiohead was like “Uh, no we didn’t you liar. Why don’t you stop being a liar.” Then Palahniuk probably wrote another book that’s awful.

Scott talks more about Sebald, who I still doubt is that good. I also find it weird that “unconsequential” is a word, since it means inconsequential. I’m actually a little mad at myself for asking this, but do we really need both words?

One of Esquire’s best fiction editors has died of being old. People called him a curmudgeon, but he seemed nice enough. He also helped the magazine become a bastion of outstanding fiction instead of some quirky vehicle for e-paper.

More Adam Thirlwell bashing.

And finally, some really old article about writing dialogue. You’re not necessarily going to find anything that will help you write better, but between the article and the comments, it’s nice to see that even though we assume everyone more or less talks the same, the way we hear dialogue in books is immensely diverse. I don’t think that movies have the same effect, mostly because of the host of other stimuli, and, as mentioned, unless the words are overly hackneyed or expository, it’s almost impossible to determine what is good or bad, realistic and unrealistic. I’ve heard people say that Delillo’s dialogue is exactly how people talk, but that is just false. I love the way his characters interact with each other, but if people in the real world talked like that I would have probably killed myself long ago.

No Thirteenth Floor….See??

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast: The Evolutionary Origins of Belief by Lewis Wolpert

Here are a number of things we (at least in the Western world) believe, or even if we don’t really believe them, still we aren’t totally sure we don’t believe them either. 

 For example:

• Friday the thirteenth is an unlucky day
• A rabbit’s foot brings good luck
• An apple a day keeps the doctor away
• To find a four-leaf clover is to find good luck
• If you walk under a ladder, you will have bad luck
• If a black cat crosses your path you will have bad luck
• To break a mirror will bring you seven years bad luck
• To open an umbrella in the house is to bring bad luck
• To find a horseshoe brings good luck
• Step on a crack, break your mother’s back
• You can break a bad luck spell by turning seven times in a clockwise circle
• Garlic protects from evil spirits and vampires
• Our fate is written in the stars
• At the end of a rainbow is a pot of gold
• Clothes worn inside out will bring good luck
• Wearing your birthstone will bring you good luck
• If you blow out all of the candles on your birthday cake with the first breath you will get whatever you wish for
• To have a wish come true using a wishbone, two people make a wish, then take hold of each end of the bone and pull it until it separates. The person with the longer end gets his or her wish
• An itchy palm means money will come your way
• A beginner will always have good luck: beginner’s luck
• A cat has nine lives
• Toads cause warts
• A cricket in the house brings good luck
• Crossing your fingers helps to avoid bad luck and helps a wish come true
• A lock of  hair from a baby’s first haircut should be kept for good luck
• To refuse a kiss under mistletoe causes bad luck
• To find a penny heads up, brings good luck
• To make a happy marriage, the bride must wear: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue
• Washing a car will bring rain
• A cat will try to take the breath from a baby
• Warm hands, cold heart
• Cold hands, warm heart
• Wearing an opal when it is not your birthstone is bad luck
• A forked branch, held with a fork in each hand, will dip and point when it passes over water
• Big feet, big hands, big….(you know….don’t pretend you don’t.)

Why do we believe these things?  Dr. Lewis Wolpert, professor of Biology at University College, London, tries to get to the origins of our superstitious beliefs in his very entertaining and informative study, Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast: The Evolutionary Origins of Belief .   Using the tenets of evolutionary psychology, Wolport argues that what we believe “has its origin in the human development of language and of tools and their uses. Once our early ancestors made the connection between certain causes and effects—such as a flint causing fire—their discoveries led to other cause-and-effect beliefs. Wolpert also discusses how brain abnormalities, hypnosis and psychedelic drugs can lead to false beliefs, and he concludes that religious belief sometimes falls into this category. While he doesn’t discount religious belief, Wolpert says that science offers the most reliable beliefs about how the world works. Wolpert’s reflections ask us to reconsider how we look at the world every day” (Publisher’s Weekly). 

I’d be interested in hearing what superstitions you grew up with, or have passed on to your children.  (Personally, I wasn’t allowed to swim for an hour after eating when I was a kid.  Just recently heard from a doctor that this is total bunk.)  And if you read the book, what you discovered about the history of your particular superstitions or phobias.    

(Btw, “six impossible things to do before breakfast” is an homage to Douglas Adams.)

Could you still be an attention whore without it?

So, Time had a hoot having a bunch of dummies ask Haruki Murakami questions, and now Tom Wolfe gets the same treatment and guess what- every damn question is about his awful ass suit. Ok, not every question because there are a few that ask about his books and drugs and why he’s such a dick when it comes to politics but yeah, most of it is fashion related. I’ll keep you updated on the most ridiculous crap people ask, and I’d like to mention my appreciation of someone asking Wolfe if he’s a fop or a dandy. Even though the answer is obvious, it’s still a good question.

I guess James Frey’s fake novel got published in the UK but instead of hooking you up with that sweet interview that has a photo of him shirtless and flipping off the camera (Dude, woah, he doesn’t give a damn about anything) I’m just linking to the Digested Read that rips the book apart better than most legitimate reviews can. And why isn’t that ponce wearing a shirt?

Well, I can’t get through this. Guy with a plastic bag on his head and a British accent reviews a book/video game while hyperventilating. And people say blogs aren’t legitimate.

Wood Vs. Updike Vs. Baker Vs. Tanenhaus Vs. Champion. Please read the Paper Cuts comments or here to see the clear loser.

And finally, The Millions dishes about the book that started it all for them. I’m trying to think about the one book that actually made me think that reading was the shizzle, but instead I’m gonna be the guy that lists a bunch. The Best Nest, where two birds look for a better place to live, and Be Nice to Spiders which I loved, even though I never actually considered being nice to them. And And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street, which twenty-some bitch publishers didn’t want to put out. And any Choose Your Own Adventure books. And I think that’s it for the moment. Your turn.

Come on, dude, you’re in public

With the rule of three in play right now (Mr. Isaac and the Mac) can we just consider a reprint of a Jay Mcinerney book close enough to some sort of death? With the grubby spawn of John Edwards story tenuously gripping to page two, Mcinerney’s The Story of My Life, a book based on the crazy-assed crazy that Edwards threw down with, will now be back in book stores to remind everyone why the 80’s was the worst decade ever, minus the Back to the Future trilogy and Falco. So if you weren’t already pissed at Edwards, now you have no choice.

One of the oldest debut novelists ever is using the funds from her book to house other oldies. The catch? The book is really filthy, I guess. Or maybe it’s just filthy for a 93-year old woman to write. Millard Kaufman’s Bowl of Cherries was pretty filthy, though, and he was 90. Man, old people are filthy.

Ha ha, Gawker is right there with me about the mythical sales of the Kindle. Aside from one verifiable sighting, a hugely popular blog in the world’s busiest city is as skeptical as I am. You know why? Because we have faith in the human spirit or something like that.
(Update: Someone very high up in the Enotes empire owns a Kindle, but I have yet to see it because supposedly it only gets used in the bathroom. Make your own joke.)

Ed is still selling pencils. Buy one.

This is one of those NY Times things that I can’t link to, so I have to guide your eyes. Go here and it’s on the top right and it’s a bunch of little heads with the title Cover Stories. It talks about a few things. One, most authors don’t get a say about their cover art which totally awful and unfair and a bad model. Two, Chuck Palahniuk is, not surprisingly, a complete weirdo. Three, Milton Glaser, who created the iconic I (Heart) New York, also created this utter piece of garbage. Seriously, again, how did that thing get greenlit?

From Enter The Octopus, McSweeney’s mixes Carver with beef. And speaking of, has anyone ever seen this commercial before? Just asking.

And finally… oh crap, I seriously thought I had one more story, but I already used all of them. Uh, how about some crappy poem from Slate? And Matthew and I are going to be co-reviewing Atmospheric Disturbances. Oh, and Der Kommissar is in town.

Francine Silverman, a book promotion expert, will be featured on BlogTalk Radio at 10 AM Central on Thurs, 8/14. Follow the link below and you can ask her how to promote your books. If you miss the live show, it should be taped for you to listen to at a later time.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/angellesa

Thrilled by my lecture on Frost and Stevens

In the spirit of the global camaraderie that is the Olympic Games and because Shane accused me of seeming erudite last week, today I offer you a sampling of ways you can ingratiate yourself the world over, courtesy of a pocket-sized tome by humanitarian Emma Burgess:  The Little Book of Essential Foreign Swear Words

Now, since this is a family-friendly blog, I can’t print some of the most useful phrases, but here is a sampling of some of the other offerings, guaranteed to help you win friends and influence people:

“Did you spill my litre?”

French:  Avez-vous renverse mon litre?

German:  Hast du meinen Liter vercshuttet?

 ”Honestly, officer, his face was like that when I met him!”

Italian:  Vertamente, signor poliziottoa, la sua faccia era gia cosi quando l’ho incontrato.

Spanish: De verdad, senor agente, su cara estaba asi cuando le encotre.

“Are you inbred by any chance?”

German:  Bist Du zufallig ein Prudkt von Inzucht?”

Italian:  Sei il prodotto di un incesto?

“I have you down as a bit of a pigeon-licker.”

French:  Je vous avez pris pour un leche de pigeons.

Spanish:  Te machaco. 

“I would like to buy your children.  How much is the boy?”

Italian:  “Vorrei comprare i tuoi figli.  Quanto vience il maschietto?”

German:  Ich mag deine Kinder.  Was kostet der Junge?

 There!  You’re welcome.  Go forth and spread good cheer. 

By the way, I found this book at Urban Outfitters,  a great place to get odd-ball texts. 

Wordsworth and Coleridge Bustin’ Loose from the Mad Rimes

New Book: The Friendship: Wordsworth and Coleridge by Alan Sisman

Many people have never read a stanza of Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s poem The Rime of the Ancient Mariner but are familiar with its central metaphor nonetheless:  wearing an “albatross around one’s neck” means that one is condemned to carry the burden of his sin (Instead of the Cross, the Albatross / About my neck was hung.) 

Similarly, most people are familiar with the poem’s famous lines:

Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink

Even if you know the poem well, you may not be aware of the origins of its inception.  A new book discusses the unusual and long-lasting collaboration between William Wordsworth and Samuel Taylor Coleridge, The Friendship:  Wordsworth and Coleridge by Alan Sisman.  Sisman’s study is the first modern consideration of how the two authors influenced each other’s work and how the partners came up with a surprisingly long-lasting working relationship. 

Sisman has a fine ability to place the reader back in time, re-creating what must have been intense and exciting conversations.  For example, the poets discussed at length the layout of Mariner.  The way Sisman describes it, the reader feels like something of an eavesdropper, walking stealthily behind the two poets as they stroll in the countryside, heads bowed together now and then, listening and responding.

It was Wordsworth, apparently, who came up with the idea of the albatross and the curse, but Coleridge who ultimately penned the stanzas.  However, when Lyrical Ballads  was released and the collection suffered some criticism for archaic language use, Wordsworth updated his partner’s  word choices for later editions.  This did not make Coleridge happy.   Although the two continued to work together for some time, ultimately the writers ceased their collaboration and became estranged. 

You can listen to an interview with Sisman by downloading the podcast from To the Best of Our Knowledge.